Full of Piss and Vinegar

There are just some Saturday nights that are made for self-imposed solitary confinement. On those nights, TV usually plays some sort of role in keeping me occupied, and tonight is no different. As I endlessly flipped channels, my attention span came to a rest on this little gem. This is totally real...I swear.

And here's a quick synopses of how it's used....

Urine Gone™ effectively removes new or old stains and odors from carpets, mattresses, furniture -- just about any washable surface or fabric! All you do is darken the room and use the included "stain detector" black light to show the urine messes. Just spray Urine Gone on and let it dry. Stains and odors disappear and keep pets from re-marking their territory.

So you get this black bottle and a black light, and it will take care of all your urine problems? Honestly, if your dog/cat/child is pissing all over your residence that much, a little bottle scented liquid ain't gonna take care of your problem. Yet, I think the best part of this is that this product will sell like crazy, but not for urine removal. Suspicious lovers all over this great land will be buying this product primarily for the black light. I predict that the next big seller will be Semen Gone. Imagine how much more Clinton could have gotten accomplished in office if he'd squirted Monica down with a cum-eliminator. How late is the patent office open?