East-ophile

I’ve just returned from a trip out West (Colorado, specifically), and I’ve decided that I am most definitely an East Coast boy. Talking with the people that live and work out there, it’s impossible to deny that the mountainous western portion of our country holds an allure for a large segment of our population. Apparently, if you ski or climb rocks, it’s the place for you. However, in standard Stroodler fashion, here’s a list of reasons why I will remain only a visitor to the Rocky Mountain paradise…

1. Trees, or the lack of them. Don’t you just love driving around and seeing massive groups of trees that exist for no reason at all? So do I.

2. Brown. If you’ve been there, you know what I mean.

3. EVERYONE drives a truck. Yes, I am including the “SUV” in this category as well.

4. Sprawl. I envy the soccer mom in Colorado. She can shop for groceries, get her nails done, find some deals at the dollar store, cash a check, get a cavity filled, and pick up a pizza for dinner, all after parking her car in a single spot at any of the billion mini-malls covering the state.

5. Air so dry it will eventually mummify everyone there.

6. EVERYONE is white, Republican, and a Christian, but that may be redundant. Now, I like white people (I am one), recognize the necessity of Republicans, and most definitely recognize the right of Christians to exist and worship any way they want to. I just wish there was a little more diversity. Come on, black Jewish Democrats! Go balance those people out.

In other news, I have rid myself of the blight that was my house in Dayton, OH. Yes, for some reason that I still can’t determine, I purchased property in that city when I lived there no so long ago. In the last two years, I’ve made efforts to sell and rent the place so that it didn’t liberate me of all of my monetary holdings, unsuccessfully. Closing on the house today was a relief that is hard to describe in words, even I sold the house below market value and had to pay out the ass to get out of the mortgage. So I close this entry with greatly conflicted emotions and a warning to all you kids out there thinking “why not buy a house? It’s a great tax write-off, right?” You can’t take a house back to the mortgage company like you can a belt you bought at Banana Republic. Rent…for God’s sake…RENT!