Diplomatic Distraction

Being in the nation’s capital, it would be redundant to say that we have a lot of foreign embassies here. By far, the most interesting is the Embassy of Iraq, at the corner of 18th and P streets in northwest DC. It’s been fascinating to watch the transformation of this building as the nation of Iraq has been emerging from it’s chrysalis of democraciness. When I first moved to DC in the summer of 2003, this building was in total disrepair. Weeds grew higher than the grass, discarded office furniture littered the parking lot, and it was evident that no one had been there in a long time. The US had just ousted Saddam Hussein, and Iraq was being run by Paul “Great Hair” Bremmer and the Coalition Provisional Authority. The Iraqi embassy had been sitting vacant since 1990, when, by all accounts, the Iraqi ambassador at the time was seen high-tailing it to Dulles in a black sedan before a sea of yellow ribbons blocked his escape.

When I returned to DC in November of 2004, everything had changed. As the insurgency in against US and British forces in Iraq was becoming more serious every day, I saw a fresh Iraqi flag being hoisted at the Iraqi embassy. Other improvements had come as well. The first thing I noticed was the installation of what I call “paranoia cameras”. You know, those white discs on a metal arms with a black half-spheres at the bottom housing a camera that became popular right after 9/11. You can’t tell which direction it’s pointed, so you should just assume you’re being watched at all times. It also appeared that the hedges at the Compound had been trimmed as well. Over the next few weeks, the grass was cut, lights illuminated the interior after dark, and every once and a while a respectable car was parked in the lot.

Fast forward to February, 2006. Iraq’s insurgency is as strong as ever, but the Iraqi government is now “legitimate” and backed up with elections. I can only assume this means they’ve started putting together a diplomatic corps. As I passed the Embassy of Iraq today, I noticed that a Comcast van was parked in front of the building, and three Arab men in very expensive suits were standing in front of the van arguing with the driver/installation dude. One kept pointing to his watch and gesturing wildly. Now, I think everyone has an inalienable right to watch Sex in the City reruns and see Olympic bobsledding in high-definition, but there is something comically ridiculous about the diplomats from a country we’re spending billions of dollars to maintain bickering with the cable guy. The kicker, however, was that the Arab guy doing most of the yelling was holding a bag from, of all places, Godiva Chocolate. I’m sure he was planning on sending it back to his wife and children in Baghdad who have little running water and only ten hours of electricity a day.