Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Kenneth Cole Is Shit

I don't think a brand name has ever disappointed me as much as Kenneth Cole. After my coming out, I started buying this stuff just like every good gay boy in Ohio did for lack of any other serious name brands that most Homos wear. It's understandable - their stuff looked great and wasn't too terribly expensive. Yet I started to notice a trend. My first pair of KC shoes fell apart in six months. The sunglasses I bought lost a screw. A shirt I bought started coming apart, literally, at the seams.

But like a moth to a flame, or like Whitney to Bobby, I kept coming back. I bought a $150 KC bag six months ago, I should have known, I lost the handle from the bag because the screws holding it in fell out. The shoes I bought last year are nearly unrecognizable due to cracked "leather" and shoestrings that are about to snap.

Is this a well known fact? Have I just been my old naive self? Well, no longer.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Little White Earphones

I used to laugh at those people who had to wear their iPod everywhere. I recall commenting about a year ago to a friend of mine in Whole Foods that "people who listen to iPods while grocery shopping just can't handle reality or other people".

Maybe I was right, but I realized that maybe these people weren't blocking out the world, but making the world more entertaining. I came to this realization during a recent trip that I took. My flight this particular day left at 7 am. At 6:30 am, after crossing through the dreaded security line, I inserted my iPod headphones into my ears, put the iPod on shuffle, and just let it go. I did this partially to block out the rest of humanity because, let's face it, who's in the mood to deal with the world at 6:30 am. Yet, the headphones stayed in my ears till 1pm. What I found was that the iPod doesn't block you from humanity or the experiences around you, but if you let the music compliment what's going on around you, it does make those things much more entertaining. Think of it - living your normal life, but with a soundtrack. Sure, I hit the forward button a few times to skip over some unfortunate picks, but for the most part I let the machine tell me what I wanted to hear.

The highlights were listening to Zero 7's "Waiting To Die" as I watched the luggage trudge along the conveyor belt at the baggage claim, and hearing Nelly Furtado's "Maneater" come on while I watched a tiny Ethiopian United Airlines female flight attendant push back an unruly male customer with her sheer will. Trust me - play the song and imagine the scenario. You'll laugh.